this is more than just a silly crush


so there is a new person stirring in the works

well i lied he's not new.. hes actually someone OLD.. but i still like him and care for him a great deal. oh and he's a cutie pootootie.
only one little BIG problem he has a baby. i cant stand his baby mama. so you feel the drift. his daughter is actually four and i have known him waaaay before the baby came along. but me and the baby mama have never like each other. although he takes care of his daughter to the fullest and cant stand the babymama either shes still there, the kid is still there and the drama will follow.
(BACKGROUND) **we dated in hs briefly i was a virgin not doing anything.. found out he was talkin to other girls. broke up. i got a bf. cheated with him.. messed around for awhile, it didnt goo anywhere, lost contact.**

any who. like i said i really do like him. he's very chill and laid back my type of guy. he's really nice, has his shit together PLUS he gives me butterflies, im nervous around him.. i think before i speak (i'm not mean to him) im vunerable, im open & honest, i like him A LOT!
BUT I'm very selfish and I'm not sure if i can be number 2 in anyones life..
esp. seeing that i don't have any kids. i don't have any doubts or trust issues, i just have a gut feeling I'm going to end of fighting his babymama.
I'm too old for drama and fighting. but my attitude will get the best of me. chick has a mouthpiece on her.
but that's the new .. well reoccurring boo in my life.
i really dont know what to do. i know what im getting myself into. im a pessimist i expect something to go wrong. i expect sadness instead of complete happiness. i do this to myself. am i tripping? should i just ride it out? should i stay or should i go?

3 comments:

Bombchell said...

(sigh) drama is never fun. just take a step back and think will i be happy or content with this situation in 6 months or 5 yrs, if yes go for it :)

Truthful Trish said...

Hmm babymama drama, dreadful indeed lol. Well I must say go with your gut feeling. If you are hesistant its probably for a good reason. Sometimes we ignore our gut feelings and hope everything works out for the best but sometimes if we paid attention to our inner selves we can avoid hat " damn why didn't I go with my first feeling" a year later after thr drama has hit the fan. You said you have a feeling you might fight her because she has a mouth, girl I've been there and fought that same fight, and wasn't worth it (ok don't get me wrong it felt good shutting her up but...) Lol, just really think hard about what to do. It can possible work in your favor only if YOU change, seems unfair but that's the best way. If you change your level of tolerance to high then you might be able to deal with the mouth and drama of the baby mama and you and the boo can be happy. But if you let her get to you it'll be a waste. So just see if you are willing to up your tolerance and patience level and if this guy is worht you making that change then I say go for it! :-)

☆αmbєr said...

--Michelle (sigh) i HATE drama. its so childish and a waste of life. but it is what it is

--Trish. great advice. thanks so much. i have no patience for it. so i think im just "Settling" because im bored. i know what like you said i need to go with my inner gut feeling. my intuition is always right