This past weekend was very relaxing and full of laughs and much needed girl time. I spent it shopping, clubbing, drinking and going out to eat with my best friend. She and I we're conversing about relationships and the topic of sex presented itself. We we're talking about being in love and I started thinking about the two guys I thought I loved. I say thought because they both we're mostly based off of sex. Although it was more to it then that, atleast 60% of our time involved sexing each other. If we weren't having sex we were talking about sexing each other, doing something so we can go back to sex each other, or being mad at one another so we can eventually sex each other. Don't get me wrong we were not JUST fuck buddies. In both situations I was emotionally, mentally and physically attracted and attached to these men. But I do question if I was just dick whipped and in lust instead of true love.
I have never been the girl who can talk to someone because of their status or their money. That stuff doesn't excite me. But if I'm attracted to you physically, you have a good head on your shoulders and a big johnson in your pants I instantly like you. It is more to it then that but those are the biggest factors for me. Sex is important to me. If you can't satisfy me sexually, you can't satisfy me at all no matter how much wining and dining you do.
Can you truly have a successful relationship without good satisfying sex? The last guy I truly talked to we didn't immediately hit the sack. We went a couple of months before we actually had sex, we actually bonded on a friendship level first. He was my homeboy. I loved his company and his conversation. Honestly I was never sexually attracted to him, but he caught me at a weak moment when I was just horny. For me the sex was not the best, but it was for that moment satisfying. We had other issues besides the sex, which caused us not to workout but I don't think we could have had a successful relationship without the good sex.
The 3 components to a successful relationship
A relationship is like baking a cake. You must have the right ingredients, so it will be delicious and satisfying. If you miss one ingredient you can still eat it, but it wont taste as good. That's how I view relationships. You need the right amount of friendship, love and sex to have a successful relationship. If you lack one specific component you can be in a relationship, but there will be problems. For me I think both my failed relationships involved too much sex and not enough friendship. The love was there, but the friendship wasn't strong enough. We loved each other for all the wrong reasons. As I get older I see myself evolving and changing, because I no longer want the "fuck buddy." I want something with some substance and worthy of my heart.
I often contradict myself because I enjoy sex, so its hard for me to not have sex with someone that I am attracted too. If I get alone with someone its hard to resist those urges. I also feel like if I spend all this time getting to know someone and then I have sex with them and its not up to par I will be mad for wasting my time. If the sex is bad I honestly lose interest in them. I don't have time teaching someone how to sex me. So if your in a relationship is the sex important? Are you truly in love or are you whipped off of their sex? "Don't mistake love for sex just because you love the sex."