I hate being responsible.

i gave up my ticket to the usher concert (which was tonight in Chicago) to do guess what yall--->>> (WORK!!!!!!!!!!) 0MG! isnt that crazy. i was telling everyone tonight at work and they all gave me these crazy looks. haha. but im in training right now and if i miss it its a wrap. i can kiss the job goodbye. i hate being grown up and having to make real decisions. im so jealous and i know my bff (the black barbie) was pissed, but she better have fun seeing her love USHER! im sorry girl. i'll make it up i swear.

i hate doing all this soul searching.. especially when you search for answers and you still dont know. questions like whats my purpose? i dont have any kids, no boyfriend, im not in school (not by choice), and im not having fun with my life. so i just ask why am i here. not that i would EVERRRRRRRRR consider taking my life but it sucks living life and waking up with nothing to look forward to but the time passing away. anyone else ever feel that way?

i really feel like i need some new friends, (nothings wrong with the 3 i have) S-Dot lives in Kentucky, Black Barbie lives about an hour away and bf Ashley-Ashley works two jobs and its a done deal with us doing anything. So you can kind of see where the line of boredom can fall into place.
I just wanna travel and see the world. Venture out and do new things, meet new people, be in new places. But its easier said than done.
Somedays are good, some are bad. Todays just bad.


tris. said...

yesss. hun. the past few months that's all i ever felt like. you know.
robotic mechanical movements.
daily monotonous routines.
makes you feel as though you're going in circles that serve no purpose.
and when you try to take a step back to make sense of it all. you can't gain clarity on ANYTHING. ughhh.
now i'm not one for the deep and profound advice. but keep on pushing.
trust me it gets better in time.

Eb the Celeb said...

yeah your a good one... no way I will ever give up fun for work unless there is a super paycheck attached

Latoya said...

Dam I can only imagine how you are feeling but everything will get better trust me cause I once felt the same way

Brothers Blog said...

Yeah I know some people here in the Chi that went to that concert. I know women that would have killed to go. lol. Sorry to hear you had to miss it. But guess we all gotta prioritize so you made the best choice. Usher will be back another time for another tour. As for purpose we all search for that and have on and off days. Just keep striving you'll get to where you want to be.

Lucky said...

Aww omg! I was soo looking forward to hearing the rundown of Usher's concert! I feels you..responsibility is overrated, big time.

kit von b. said...

i'll be damned if i miss a concert for work.


Video Vix[o]n said...

damn, what a sacrifice. thats sucks for real, but i bet it'll work out in the long run. now if it was kanye, i'd have a problem (and one less job too, lol).

Reggie said...

SMDH....but you need that job to go to other concerts!!

☆αmbєr said...

-Ms. Uncensored thats why i cant work a reg. 9 to 5 all my life. i will diiiiiie from the robotic lifestyle. i love change. i mean not too much change where things arent in order but i couldnt see the same faces everyday and do the same thing. i need adventure. you know. but things are getting better.. nevermind ill be lying to you if i said that. lol

--EB .. i feel you, thats how i would usually be but i was jobless and finally found a decent one. i couldnt miss a day or i would be back searching for a job.

--Toya -- thanks for commenting.

☆αmbєr said...

--Brothers Blog.. oh thanks! that made me feel better really. i mean yeah Usher will come again. plus im not even a fan like that. nOw if it was Kanye or Jay Z i woulda been jobless foreal. =)

Lucky-- i kno i kno. check my bestfriends blog out (the black Barbie) she went and blogged about it. =/

lol @ KB. i had to do what i had to do.

--Video V.. ya know. i woulda been like fuuuuuuuck this job. im so his #1 fan. =)

Free Reggie- YA KNOW!!! THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING! Everyone else clearly didnt realize that. lol