Just one of those days

basically its one of those days. i have alice smiths cd in rotation. feelin real mellow but i feel like i missin something. i really dont have the patience to meet someone new.. nor do i really wanna talk to someone from the past... so whats a girl to do? idk.

its funny that when someone likes you so much u can careless about them but when they move on.. you start to care. this guy had the bigggest crush on me. told me he liked me all the time. i always ignored him or brushed it off. i was content with being just friends. well ne who. he got a girlfriend and i started acting really jealous (im normally not like that) but i knew right then and there i really cared. (or i was being selfish) Now everything has changed. we barely talk. its just weird. i miss him a little but i can never admit to it.

wrote a poem about it:
4am blues
My yawning face is awake again. With this 4am blues. Still in love.. Looking confused. Got me feeling stuck cuz I refuse to give up on something I know is so right. But you don’t care so it should only be right that I give up this fight. But inside I’m yearning for your love. Feigning to hear your voice cuz it makes the world stop. You told me you never wanted to hurt me but why am I sitting here feeling like my hearts been ripped apart? I’m tired of pretending I’m fine knowing I’m not. I miss you. I want you. Better yet I need you. I told myself I would never fall in love again cause this shit hurts my soul. Yet here I am forced out of love . Hurt. Looking confused and feeling stuck. But I refuse to give up. I’m sitting here awake with all these mixed feelings racing through my mind. I got the 4am blues for the 3rd night in a row. I wish I could just get over you but I just cant let go.

Random!! ---> i had a talk with my girl Coco Black. She put alot of things into perspective. she said "If you don't see what you want around you - create it." i love this girl she is ridiculously fly and her mind is out of this world. i feel her though. sometimes i feel all alone on this planet. my mind goes off to other galaxies sometimes. lol anywho check her out.