I feel like a lost soul floating like a balloon.

At the very second i have ne-yo's (don't fall in love) song on repeat. LISTEN HERE
This song does something to me. I can hear him telling me this. And I'm just looking at him with that "nigga you must not know bout me" face. I was thee QUEEN of never falling in love and letting emotions get in the way. But i ate my words and fell... HARD. I'm just now getting back up. I think i messed alot of that up. i tried to act all coo like nothing mattered.. then out of no where i got all pissed and started asking all kind of questions, showing that i was catching feelings.. then he told me he didn't want to be with me. gave me some dumb ass excuse... and at that moment i knew i fell. It took forever for me to ever face that fact. This song just brings back memories that i tried to hide behind makeup. but shit it hurts listening to this song. yet i cant stop listening.

Well any who. Happy 09 bitches! I wish you all a year of growth, love, hope and change.

My sister's boyfriend proposed to her on New Years Eve. It was the cutest thing ever. I love those two. They make you want to find you better half. I'm so happy for her.. And i actually like him. He is a real coo person.

I bought the new year in with one of bff's ShaMarla and Teryn. It was random but fun. I got drunk fast as hell. (Svedka, Date Rape, Wine, Hennessey and blunts) I remember i kept dropping my phone and i called or texted like everyone in my phone. My mom said i called her drunk (which I've NEVER done that) it was kind of funny i suppose. Then i went to the bars with ShaMarla and her cousin Tiara. I saw so many ppl from high school. My ex bff was there. We didn't say a word to each other. It was kind of weird but whatever. Oh and the girl i said was a blog stalker was there as well. I didn't say anything to her either. lol. I hate being fake. Whats the point. If i don't like you. Shit i dont like you. But It was bittersweet. I WAS supposed to go to Atl for NYE but i didn't go b/c of some miscommunication. Now i guess Ashley is mad or whatever. But she still went. Good for her. Hope she had fun. its funny though because i know she was saying all kinds of negative shit about me on the ride down. lol But that's life..right? We haven't been talking like we normally do. But im busy reading books to understand life.. She's my bff and all but sometimes you just need a break from people you know.

My news years resolution.. hmm i really didn't make one. i just made promises to myself. I recorded my new years resolution that i made for 2008 and i actually accomplished alot of the things i set out for myself. This year is kind of easy. Its all about me. Being selfishness at its finest. I don't care anymore. I'm not holding anything back. Not sparing anyones feelings. No one else does.. so why should I? Im keeping alot to myself, it seems like every time i say I'm doing something or want something someone ALWAYS tries to beat me to it. But on the bright side. I'll be back enrolled in college and living in HotLanta real soon.

I thought of this really cool tattoo idea. I told my friend about it. She liked it too. I wrote the looooongest blog about it but it wouldn't post. so i will try later.

Well i hope you guys like the new layout. Its plain yet to the point. That's what i wanted. i have a second option. But I'll try this one out for awhile.

Well i hope you all had a great, drunk new years. i wish u all the best. peace.


Dope Fiend said...

nah this blog design is sexxyness! lol
i know hwta you mean about needing a break from people, i do it all the time....perhaps too much, bt im antisocial so hhkhjh. lol
HAHAHA how exactly did blogstalker get ur blog! did you fb ur addy like a silly??


Brothers Blog said...

nice layout I'm feeling it. Glad you had a fun/drunk newyears. I was definitely there with you. Congrats to your sis. Real love is great and does inspire you to want the same.

(vixenchick) said...

happy new year!



(vixenchick) said...

happy new year!



Video Vix[o]n said...

luvin the new layout, amber is it? i'll have to get used to the new name.

glad you did it up. i was in my warm cozy house myself, but i'm bout to go party this weekend anyway.


☆αmbєr said...

•Dopefiend - thanks girl. oh and i think im becoming antisocial. i dont like people! lol im outgoing and all but people in general get on my nerves and id rather be alone and in my own space. Oh and the blogstalker found our blog (the-jezebels) from facebook. but started reading ours and all of a sudden commenting on all the people blogs we read. kinda stalkerish!

•BrothersBlog- Yes real love is a beautiful thing. I love it. Shes trying to rush the whole wedding thing now though. i'll post about it later.

•vixenchick- happy 09 to you too!

•v.vixen- yes my name is Amber. No more Jayne Dough. And yeah i did it up... too much. i slept until 3pm New Years day (major hangover) but im about to go out now with my white friends. im about to be wastie faced. =)

Velly Vell said...

with the whole song thing... i kinda been thru that, sooner or later u listen to the song and u laugh to urself.

and never drink and dial, nothing good EVER comes of it
TRUST me i know for a fact.

☆αmbєr said...

Velle - lol i have a problem. i drink and dial like alllll the time now. i need to leave the phone at home when i know liquor will be entering my body. its not a great combo AT ALL! lol

thanks for commenting

Amber-Alert said...

hey i wanna hear the tat idea...i love tats and i got 3 in mind right now that i plan on getting in the next couple months (waitin on that tax REFUNDDDDD lol)...congrats to ur sis!!