So Free called me yesterday, Twice actually. And he texted me. I was at work so i couldn't answer or respond. I told him what time i got off. But once i was off. I played a personal tug-of-war with myself on rather i should reply. I told myself, Self "this year you cant deal with him" I've been going semi-strong. I really don't think about him unless someone else brings him up, or someone tells a story that i can relate to. But any who I didn't call him or text him back so kudos to me. (This is how i feel about him. Its an old poem i wrote when i was pissed.)
I Gotta Get Free
Failed relationships commitment issues.
I need permission for me to love you.
Labels and lies from ex lovers has got you in a frenzy.
said that’s the reason why you cant be with me.
What kind of shit is that?
Got me up stressing smoking all tweets cigarettes.
Lonely souls compatible.
karma recycling on my heart.
Id rather be lovers than strangers
but u’d rather let us stray apart
I used to love him I thought what we had was true
that’s the reason I'm always confused and don’t know what to do
Was he my lover? Technically no.
partners of love making, minds collaborate while challenging each others egos.
Cycles of indecisiveness, Medusa like hearts
holding on to past failures. Now this is the result
Your peace mentality was enclosed until you met me.
Now your FREE. You said you can't breath when your without me.
don’t talk just listen cuz this is my moment of clarity
Whirlpools of emotions got me fucked up in the mind.
Should of listened the first time when Eve told me that love was blind.
So where do we go. Cuz I think I made a wrong turn back there somewhere.
I'm convinced love hates me. I was never a fan of its words.
I knew one day this time would come and my heart would be cursed.
I gave it my all. Patience and my integrity
speaking all these words of pain that’s been heavy on my brain
I wish you could feel it.
Shit hear it.
I'm telling you. I fell hard although I said I wouldn't
Guess you cant control what destined to be.
..guess I was destined to get hurt and you were destined to cheat.
Needless to say. The history we once shared is now all a waste.
Cuz like Aalyiah I wonder how could the one I gave my heart to just let it break
But my cheeks will be stained from these toxic tears I cried.
You said the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me.
Check mark . task has been complete.
You hurt me soul.
you was my everything man. my personal talib kweli
i gave you everything. now I'm left with nothing.
broken dreams. empty emotions. and questions left unanswered that i have to seek
I'm left with these streaks of confusion stained on my cheeks.
I gotta get free.