Can you really be friends with your ex?


Earlier today I found myself talking relationships with two of my good friends. We started talking about whether kicking it with those past moments would lead to some kind of hidden emotions that we buried deep. I found myself defending my ability of being "just friends", but they thought otherwise. One of my girls said once I got alone with him it would be a wrap, especially if he touches me. Let me explain.
My bestfriend and I would often say we find ourselves in bad situations with men simply because we go a long time without getting some.  When we spend time with someone we half way like, we tend to put out not because we are easy, but because we are sexually frustrated. I normally would agree with this statement but I'm happy with my current situation and I'm not going through a summer drought. I honestly don't see it happening, especially now. I'm not saying that I'm ready to go have a cup of coffee with my past moment and his current situation, but I'm mature enough to hold a decent and genuine conversation without it being awkward.
I am in a place of zen and I actually like someone a-lot. He honestly has all of my attention. I may converse with a couple of friends from time to time but I am content where I am at. For me I can kick it with male friends and have the assurance of knowing nothing will happen that I wouldn't approve of happening. For me if I put you in a just friend category, we are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less. It has taken me quite sometime for to get to this place though. This time last year I was in Miami jonesin for my ex situation bad and found myself  hurt behind it all., but that's another post. I have grown and learned so much about myself from those past experiences. It has taught me that people actually can change, and people can actually grow up.
Now to the case of the ex.
I talked to a good friend/ex fling of mine about this situation. He said that he couldn't just be friends with an ex, because if he's around a female that he is attracted to something is bound to happen no matter what. He later went to say that he has never had just a home girl where nothing has happened between the two of them. That's odd to me. I am really great friends with several guys whom I have never tried and vice versa.

For me when it comes to establishing a friendship with my ex a couple of factors must come into play. Have we both moved on? If both parties have started seeing other people the chance of a relapse are slim to none. Are you over this person? If not,  having a honest friendship will definitely have some technical difficulties. Being friends with anyone male or female should come with honesty and communication. If you are unable to communicate your true feelings there is no point of trying to hold on to some friendship just because you once cared for this person. What messes everything is that girl who puts her goods out then turn around and call the same guy her "bro" twenty minutes later? There are still girls out here who are willing and able to be just friends.. So is it possible for a male and female to just be friends? Better yet can exes be friends without sexual backtracking? What are your thoughts?

3 comments:

JazzyOhBaby said...

i think u can still care but i dont think you can be friends with your ex. i have tried and failed many times, but thats just me. it can depend on the person

Amber Lee. said...

i do think it depends on the person. i am capable of being friends as long as you have a good understanding of what you want and your limitations.

J.O. said...

What about when a friend won't communicate with the other friend. How u handle that?