Last weekend my sister had both myself and her best friend over and we were discussing marriage and relationships. My sister is older than me and she is a newlywed. Her best friend is a single mother who just got out of a 6 year relationship. I told them relationships are exhausting because they are filled with unnecessary drama, game playing, manipulating and motives. I honestly don't see myself ever being someones wife. Not that I don't have the qualities, but because I wouldn't be able to entertain bullshxt and invest time into a title. They started drilling me with questions and comments.
"you're just a baby Amber"
"you've probably never been in love"
"when the right one comes you will feel different"
"stop thinking like that"
"There's someone out there for all of us"
I told them I think my "special someone" died and was hit by a car. I don't even think my standards are unrealistic, actually they are simple and basic as hell. I'm almost 24 and I'm old enough to know what love is. I've been in strong like at the time yes I thought it was love, but I was just jonesing HARD.
Love doesn't happen to everyone, so if you experience it consider yourself lucky. Personally I'm way too set in my ways. I know why I'm single. I've been told numerous times by my male friends that I'm too mean. I know I get irritated fast and I'm a control freak. I don't plan on answering to any male, or changing for him. This is a buy as is type of deal. I expect nothing from relationships, because I expect the worst from guys. I know I'm a true pessimist at heart, but it keeps me grounded. I live in a realistic world, instead of a fantasy world that most try to pretend to be in. If I'm the one who can determine my happiness, then why cant I be happy single? We have been brainwashed to think if your single then your either a hoe, depressed, lonely or bitter. Yes, no one wants to be alone, but why do I have to be married or in a relationship to be happy? You can never truly be happy until you know yourself and find happiness within. No man or woman can change that.