When will he make you his girlfriend?
I have been apart of the blog world since August 2007. I have been keeping up with a few blogs faithfully for a few years now. One of my favorite sites is Black Girls Are Easy. Don't let the title deceive you. The author is like a big brother who does not sugarcoat anything. He keeps it all the way real, with tough love and I love it. I think sometimes we as women tend to down play a situation because we don't want to be "that girl." You know that girl who is dumb, naive and easy to manipulate. Once you read his site you will easily realize that we all have a little of "that girl" in us.
There is a particular blog post entitled, "When will he make you his girlfriend," that is like reading a chapter from my own story. The post opened my eyes to so much. The author NC-17 made a statement about girls being placeholders and how beautiful attractive women allow men to dog them out and hold on to them until he no longer wants us. "Men don’t have to give you the title in order to take ownership of your vagina, all he needs to do is feed hope." I read this post and immediately got made at myself. I have allowed false hope to feed me. I am allowing myself to be a placeholder.
I have been talking to this guy since the end of Feb 2012. So if we round it to March we have been talking to each other for 7 months. I have gotten to my "what are we phase" and he keeps giving me the same hickery dickery dock nursery rhyme about how much he likes me, likes being around me and cares about me. (A bunch of malarkey) I got tired of the run around so I basically put everything out on the table. I sent this poor guy the longest text ever. The reason I texted him was solely because he tends to cut me off mid sentence if we are conversing. Text is really our only form of communication to speak to one another without any interruption.
After I sent him my 4 page letter (text) he didn't respond. Not a single word. Iphone users know that we can tell when a text has been read, so after 2 hours went by and I threw in the towel and went to bed. I get a response that said you said a lot. No shit Captain Obvious. I talked to my cousin and best friend about the situation and they both said I hope you are prepared for his response. At this point he is either going to get on board or get off at the nearest stop. I will not allow myself to settle being a place holder chick.
As much as I would love to be in a relationship (what girl doesn't) I want it to be authentic. If I want a relationship and you "aint looking for a girl" then there isn't a point in talking. I have accumulated enough friends over my 25 years of life. At this point my position looks as if it's about to become available to the first available placeholder.
posted by Amber Steez