When i was younger I remember saying if I ever had sex he had to be my boyfriend. I did follow those rules until my senior year in high school, then i grew up. I had sex in retaliation to "get back" at my ex boyfriend and then I realized how undeniably fun sex with no strings attached was. I felt like I had been missing out in a sense. During high school I hung with a group of females, and few of the girls in my crew definitely bopped around and we all caught the wrath for their loose ways. Although I have graduated from high school over 5 years ago, I still hear bs rumors about who I was "doing." Honestly I was too busy trying to prove that I was not a heaux (hoe), then to actually act on it. I have always been a private person, especially when it comes to dating. I get super shy and nervous when my relationship is publicly displayed for the world to see. So dating for me has always been a private ordeal. Even in school I never dated people that went to school with me. I just hate all eyes on me. That has never been my thing.Until I went away to college.
In college strangely I had a boyfriend by the second month of school and everyone knew it. But it was definitely different, because we actually were friends. I met him the first day I got to Alabama and we instantly clicked. We dated the majority of our first semester and we collectively realized we rushed into a relationship. Although we never did anything, we both knew we we're better off being friends. We still are really good friends to this date.
When that relationship was over it seemed like I immediately started dating. I was hesitant at first because this guy was a junior and I was a freshmen, but he was a complete gentlemen in every since of the word. We never officially "went together" but after a few months of conversing he became my personal plumber. I had a key to his apartment and drove his car around campus, which in college terms is equivalent to seriously dating. In my head he was mine. I still had friends, but he was the only person that truly mattered to me. We shared the same mutual friends, so there was a weird vibe whenever he came around. I feel as if like that relationship failed due to everyone around us instigating. Our "situation" was rocky and we both became insanely insecure and that relationship self destructed itself. I honestly was hurt from that relationship and any situation that got remotely close to a relationship scared me to death. I would abort mission and go awol immediately if I knew a relationship was forming. I know that's where the root of all of this has came from. I fear being hurt, so instead of patiently waiting for a relationship, I fast forward it to the good part. SEX.
Women and sex is something that can be debated for hours. In my humble opinion women will always lose the battle. If we give it up too soon, you treat us like hoes. If we make you wait, you drop us & find a new one who will "give it up." So its a lose-lose situation however you look at it. I'm so tired of reading blogs and listening to my male friends say shit like, "Honestly, men don't care if you give it up on the first night." Yeah the f-ck right, you can not sell me bullshit I know the prices. Men care and will take you out of the "wifey" category once he feels like he "hit dat" too soon. 90% of my friends are men and I hear all the shit they say. If we give it up "easily" we automatically become Easy Elisha. F-ck our credentials and the fact that your ONLY my 4th partner, because that shit goes out of the window. If I make you wait too long you lose interest in me, or you think I'm playing games. So whats the point?
I TRY not to have sex with guys who know each other. But lets be honest. I do not live in Texas or California. My city is not THAT big. Your lucky if you can date two guys who have never crossed paths, living here. I have messed with two different guys and then I later found out they we're friends at college. But I'm not Miss Cleo, honestly how would I have known. I don't intentionally f-ck around with guys in the same circle, that's not cute. But if you are girl who does then that is your prerogative. If you are grown enough to have sex you should be wise and smart enough to have a conscious when doing so.
I love sex, therefore I have sex. If I find a good sex partner, I try to continue having sex with that one person. Once it gets old, he starts liking me, or I feel like I have to make appointments to get some dick I will move to the next. So if that makes me a heaux.... well I'll kindly take that. My thing is IF i wait and get to know you "like I am ethically supposed to do" and then the d-ck is whack then what? Do I get a gold star for my patience or dry cooch for your lack there of? I will be shitty and feel like I wasted (insert months) trying go get to know you when I could have waited 2 weeks and realized you weren't worth the headache. I am a physical individual meaning I love body heat, touching, kissing, biting, rubbing et cetera. If I like you I am touchy feely, so for me to not "give it up" is a challenge. Although I will not put myself in the situation of being alone with you, if I genuinely want to get to know you first.
I am not the girl who you can meet at the club and go home with and f-ck. No no no that's not me. Hoe's f-ck any and everything. I don't. Hoes f-ck for incentive. I don't. I f-ck because I simply want to f-ck. Plain and simple. For those of you reading this saying wow, she is a hoe. If hold out too long he will be on to the next girl faster then Kim Kardashian. For those of you who want to get all holy holy and thou shalt not on me, this blog is clearly not for you. How many virgins over the age of 18 do you really know? I can count 3.
I love sex and there is absolutely no shame in that. I have had sex with someone who's pipe game was A-1 but his d-ck wasn't necessarily the largest. But he was one of my best partners. Why? Because he knew exactly what to do and did it well. That's all we can ask for. I have had sex with someone who's d-ck was thick and long but his stroke game was garbage and the sex was trash. As long as you know how to please me, you will get no complaints from me.
Don't get me wrong I want this.
But I will kindly (with a smile on my face) settle for this.
As long as its good.
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