A couple weeks ago my older brother and I were conversing about relationship roles. The conversation started because I told him our dad asked me to come over and cook dinner for him. I told him that my father and brothers were the only men I have ever cooked for. He thought that was strange.
I didn't. I ain't yo mama! I ain't cookin fo no N!gga. (Ratchet Voice) No but seriously, I don't feel like I gotta cook for you. To me, that's too much like playing house. And I'm not playing house with anyone except my husband!
My brother feels the opposite. He told me that he was a limited commodity and there are certain things that need to be provided to him before he would consider making her his wife. I said,
"Please explain yourself." He said, "Since I am an educated black man with a college degree, job, own house, own car, debit free and no kids. You won't find many men like me. So with that being said, its certain things my woman must do. She must cook, clean, wash my clothes, and help take care of home. If she can do that, she might be wife material." I couldn't believe it! So basically the black men with they stuff together, wants me to cook, clean, and wash clothes and I'm only a girlfriend? That's crazy!
I decided to ask 4 of my close friends
(2males and 2females) how they felt about the issue. Of course the two males agreed with him and 1 of the females did too. I couldn't believe she sided with them. She said she understands, because she feels the same in return. "If you want this black women with a college degree, job, own house, own car, debit free and no kids, you need to be able to cook, clean, and PROVIDE! She said the washing clothes wasn't an issue. My other female friend agreed with me. All those things are good, but we just boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course I'll do that when we're married, but for now we just going steady. I'm not sure if we feel this way because we've been single for a while, or do other women feel this way too.
So males and females, how do you feel about? Should we be playing house when we're just boyfriend and girlfriend or are those normal relationship things?
3 comments:
I get both sides of this but my thoughts...
1. I'm not washing your clothes. Naw bruh. Now my son's father, as a father's day gift I normally clean his apt because it's a hot damn mess the other 364 days of the year. LOL But this is a gift, not a daily task. Unless you are my hubby, no dry cleaning and no Gain on the radar.
2. I don't mind cooking but i'm not cooking for your everyday. I would hope that I wouldn't have to see you everyday (let's face,we all need a little space in relationships). With that said, sure we can each take turns preparing meals but I won't be the only person cooking.
3. Even if I was married, this would not be a one-sided deal. We need are both equally response for laundry, meals, cleaning, etc. I mean, marriage is a partnership right?
Well for me... I dont want to say what I wont do because I'm sure it will be different when I actually love someone. you know love is blind.
but washing clothes and cooking like thats my job hell no. now i will compromise and do it if he's doing it as well like Monique said.. but its not just MY JOB.
And im not playing house without a ring on my finger.
if a guy you've been dating ask you to cOok for him every once in a blue moon I don't see that as being a problem ...playing house is to me is a live in girlfriend cooking,cleaning,and doing laundry w/o a ring! Now THAT'S a no go .... Ask ya momma!
Post a Comment