Lately I've been finding myself in the weirdest predicaments. Ex-boyfriends have been contacting me left and right from all means of communication. Everyone seems genuine, yet they all have the same fxcked up stories about how sorry they are. Ive heard everything; how much they miss me and how they wished things were different and wanting another chance. It all sounds cute and tempting, HOWEVER I'm not a fan of ex lovers. The pessimist in me immediately thinks of all the reasons in which we broke up or quit talking to one another, and my frustration leads me to shut them off. At 23 years old I wouldn't say I've experienced true heartbreak. Yes, my feelings have been tremendously hurt by these men, but no extreme heartbreaks. So I'm not scared of having my heart broken a second time around, I just don't want to invest energy on someone who previously wasted my time. Last week my cousin and I were conversing about ex flings and she said maybe one of them are "the one" and God is just giving you a second chance. I laughed because that comment is so unrealistic. I'm the one that got away not them. I grew up and learned from these relationships, not them. Not pointing the finger solely on them because I do could have done things differently but my heart ached for them. As a strong, prideful and stubborn black woman I would never allow myself to crawl back asking for seconds. I told my cousin maybe I'm the one being tested to see if I'm strong enough to let go and move on from these experiences, so my future boo whom I've never met can enter my life. Yeah, that's it. These ex's are not it. I refuse.
xoxo, ambﻉя иo яosﻉ
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